Whenever I am faced with a fear I like to reach down inside and walk through it. The other night, my friend and I went to the beach at dusk, on account of I can't get any sun.
Anyway, it was beautiful, gorgeous, and so peaceful. Â I wanted to skinny dip, butÂ the bottom had a lot of shells, so I asked my friend if I could wear her flip flops because Â and I didn't want to cut myself..
The first thing she said to me was, "don't loose them." (it reminded me of my mother, she would always say the most fearful thing while I was trying to have fun.) I mean the worst thing that would happen is, I lost it and I had to buyanother one. Â My response was "I'm not going to lose them."
ThenÂ sure enough, I'm not in the water for a second and a big wave comes, knocks me over and slams me down. I finally get my balance, stand Â and realize that one of the flip flops is gone.
A terror ran through my body, it was a childish terror. Because my brain was telling me all I had to do was buy another pair. Â Bu the grown up part of me began looking for it.
I ran up to her and told her, she was not happy, so I ran back to the water searching through the dark water. The waves were big and with every white trimmed crash, the bottom would swish up and make the water even more murky.
But I kept searching and don't cha know whola! I found it.
I was so happy. It was metaphor for life for me. I needed to protect my feet and if that meant possibly having to buy another pair of flip flops, so be it.
But then, even when it was gone, I kept up hope, kept searching through t he murky water to find it. Â which is proof that nothing is as bad as we think its going to be. and i am never going to let "what might happen" keep me from tryign things!
I ran into the waves and swam, I pulled my bathing suit off and felt so free.