I have always been amazed at the power of laughter, but lately it's been hitting me in a way that it never has. I have always loved the fact that I couldÂ spontaneouslyÂ make a room full of people laugh. I mean, its so universal andÂ guttural.
I've been able to make the grumpiest of people turn that frown around in a second.
When I was a kid, there was a guy at the Savin Hill train staition who worked the booth.
He looked so miserable, so,Â every timeÂ I went to take the train I would set my mind to make him smile.
He never would, until one day out of no where, it happened! Â He smiled and I went to pay and he clicked the turnstyle and let me through.
I rememebr he let me ride for free from that day on.Â I was to young to make the connection between kindness andÂ currencyÂ back thenÂ and as a teenager my anger caught up with me and I learned about sarcasim and began to use this power in a bad way.
It hurt others but mostly it hurt me. It was like a depleting life force.
There is something so powerful now, about the fact that I use my ability as a life giving force. I have control over it I don't just react out fear and hurt others with it.
I remember sitting with and Italian chef who spoke only a tiny bit of English, and telling him stories about growing up and he was laughingÂ uncontrollably.
I was facinated with the fact that the connection was deeper than words, it was an energy.
The only way I can describe it is, that I used to do it for attnetion, make people laugh I mean, but now I do it to make people feel good I want people to feel better, I want them to stop worrying, I want them to turn that frown upside down.
I do it as a lifeÂ affirming and life giving, I have aÂ child'sÂ heart and grown woman's self restraint.