So, yesterday I was waiting for the train at 86th street. I walked down to the platform and this older( fancy) woman was coughing and sneezing and not covering her mouth. I sensed that she had bad energy and moved to a different car door when the train came. Wouldn't you know, Â once we were on the train,she still found her way right beside me. And, I was right, she had no spacial awareness and was banging into everyone; no one said a word to her.
At the next stop, this older black guy comes barging on the train with a sweaty face. Â Before this, I had noticed a guy sitting, he has a lot of tattoos on his arms and he looked really mean; so mean, that I checked his eye for a teardrop. Which I've been told means the amt of murders committed while incarcerated.
Well sweaty guy walks past him and spit sprays onto his arm. I brace myself, thinking that sweaty face is about to catch a beaten.
Well, I was wrong tattoo guy just wiped it from his arm. Â Then, of course, fancy lady sighs so loudly, and moves away from sweaty face. She wanted the whole train to see her disgust.
Then another guy asked him if he wanted his seat. And another woman pulled out a paper towel, a full square of a paper towel; it wasn't even wrinkled. She handed it to sweaty face, all the while averting her eyes.
He asked, "what is this for?" and she motioned to wipe his face. He didn't. I stood there, still thinking, what am I feeling? Â This guy is gross, but he's still a human being and is he really doing anything to offend me or hurt me? The answer was no. He was just causing a lot of us to have tons of feelings. Everyone, including sweaty face got off at 42nd street except for me and the tattoo guy. He looked up and asked if I wanted his seat.
So, I was right about the old lady, but wrong about the tattoo guy. At least in that moment. This is what I find to be the biggest struggle. To trust my gut while being open to the possibility that I might be wrong.
Which brings me to my trip home. I am waiting at 14th street and the platform is packed. The proper train etiquette is to wait to the side while people exit the train and then enter. Lot's of people don't like this, (I'm assuming some it it caused by all the feelings provoked) especially the guy standing behind me. He was trying to push me with his body and I stood my ground.
Guess what he did to deal with his feelings of being upset? He pinched my ass. As soon as I felt it, I elbowed him. We walked on the train and he said "lady what's wrong with you?" I said "someone just grabbed my ass." Â He had two bags in his hands and replied, ""how could I do that, I have my hands full, and I have a mother and a sister." As he was speaking, he wouldn't look me in the eye, at which point, I knew he was lying.
As I was leaving the train, I told him to keep his hands to himself. Â I went to guy in the booth and told him what happened. He asked what the guy looked liked. I responded, "a black guy with a bright orange shirt."
At which point the guy in the booth laughed. I thought he was laughing at me. I held my composure and said "Sir it's not funny when a woman gets groped. He replied "Oh I know, I'm laughing at the fact he is wearing a bright orange shirt. The cops will have no problem finding him." Then it hit me, he had a bunch of perfume in those bags, probably stolen, so when the cops caught him; he'd be in double trouble. HA HA dumb ass.
So the moral of the day is, Â I need to trust my gut and not act on impulse. I need to push through the feelings to see what's really going on.
Ignorance is contempt prior to investigation.