So we shoot our scenes and as I'm leaving Laurence gives me Â a huge hug and says "Sue don't ever quit, your so talented and authentic they just don't get you yet." I remember walking away feeling great and as if my stomach had dropped out at the same time. All my life I have always had this secret fantasy that someone some day was going to come along and take complete and total care of me. So, every time a situation arises that magnifies the fact that I am the only one who can do it, Â I get that feeling.
That was the week that I started to write my show Minus 32 Million Words. Â I worked on that show for ten years knowing full well that if I wanted people to see me I was going to have to show myself.
I remember being a teenager and hearing God talk to me, asking me to change and I would say out loud, I'm not doing it God, I know what you want me to do and I'm not strong enough and then I proceeded to drink my face off to squelch what I know was the truth.
Needless to say my whole life has been a bunch of re occuring signs with the same theme. So here it is ten years later and I see that Laurence is staring on Broadway. I make the decision that I want to go and thank him.
My friend and I buy tickets and when we get to the theatre I am so nervous I almost want to run away. The fear and doubt was making me want to go to sleep. I got up the guts to go to the stage manager and ask if I can see Laurence after the show. She is abrasive and mean and yells, "you'll have to go to the stage door after and ask."
Now my shame and fear is telling me "Sue, don't do it, he won't remember you anyway." I watch the show and revel in how amazing he is and talk myself into going to the stage door after.
After the show, I walk to the stage door and there are two big mafioso looking guys with sunglasses on. I ask if I can see Laurence. The ask who I am and tell me to wait. Again, I have to keep myself from running.
He comes back and motions for me to come in. We have to wait in the hallway because he has someone else in the room.
The people leave and he motions for me to come in. Right away, he hugs me and I say " if no one has ever told you that you made a difference in their life, you made a difference in mine."
I look up and he has a tear in his eye. We sit and chat for a while he gives me his cell phone number and asks me if I think he was funny. Imagine Laurence Fishburne asking me? He said he usually plays the darker rolls so it was nice to be able to be funny. And immediately I thought of course he's human he just wants to be seen like the rest of us.
I leave and sleep for 3 days. My friend that was with me said that it was the most authentic moment she had ever seen. And i thought how much more energy it took for me to be generous and direct and reveal myself only because of my fear leading up to it. Otherwise it was invigorating. Â And now that i had done it once the next time would be easier.
So i got the news about the role in the Fighter and my first thought was to call him. I waited a til this sat. I left him a message saying the reason i did so well was becuase of that day when i walked in the room and he was sitting in the window sill.
Later that day my friend calls and asks if I want to go to my friend Sean's restaurant in Brooklyn.
We walk in and Dominic ChianeseÂ is there. He was in Laurence's movie with me, all of a sudden his phone rings it'sÂ Laurence, Dominic tells him that I am there and he says "put her on the phone right now." He is so happy for me Â and tells me to tell Christian Bale that he is a huge fan.
How fucking generous. When I saw him on that stage I saw his greatness and I wanted to be like that. He was great because he was being generous with the audience, he was giving himself to them. Â That greatness is humility and generosity. Couple that with putting yourself out there and fate can be the only result.