In February I put together a story telling event called Hope Trumps Fear. I hosted it and started the show off with a story about how I found out who I am through a tremendous amount of hard work. I think the line that got the biggest laugh was "being authentic is exhausting." I didn't mean it to be funny. I really, really meant it. I used to stand on stage at comedy clubs doing my "act" and my insides would literally be pushing to come out.

It was the craziest feeling. I would be on stage getting huge laughs and my insides would be saying I don't want to do this I want to just talk.

My whole stand up career I've been different. The first time I was on stage at my comedy class the teacher was amazed at my honesty.

But then it was as if my past just repeated itself through my show biz career. Others told me not to talk about certain things and that I should have more Jokes.

I listened and the result was my standing on a stage wrestling with myself.

I have had more people ask me why I haven't done a half hour for comedy Central.

Last year I tried. I put together a half hour and the executives came out to see me.

They're response was "Sue is hilarious, but we don't know what to do with her energy."

Ha hahahahaha that was the first time I hear it, and believed and was kinda proud of it.

I used to try to put myself in a box so that I could fit in.

I thought I was weird, or "too much" that's what my Dad told me.

More on this tomorrow................