I've been thinking a lot about how much of the world today is based in fear and from that fear comes a tremendous amount of useless chatter. People are not so interested in connecting in an authentic way. They are more than happy to use attacks and manipulation to keep the connection at bay. It's as if they want to connect but only so much. They want to connect but control how you see them, which of course never works. Because we end up seeing them even more clearly. It’s like they have a sickness but they are allergic to the antibody that will heal them. I can't control how people see me either, but what I can control is the way I react to it. Lots of people from my past have come my way since I've been back in the press. I have gone truthfully to lots of them, shown up with love and they had nothing. They didn't say anything to me, or about how they felt about the way I express myself. They just asked me if I wanted to fight them. These people don't want to have a real relationship with me.
I am a very logical person, so I ask myself, If these people hate me so much, and I'm soooo crazy, then why would they want to be associated with me? If I'm so terrible, my karma will come back and get me. Actually, if I'm so bad, then that is my Karma. I have to be me, which seems like a penance enough.
It wasn't until recently that my best friend pointed it out to me. She said, "They want a connection with you, Sue" and it's as if I hit the slot machine in Vegas.
It made complete sense to me. I'm mature enough to know that everyone is not going to like me or what I say, and I think that is important; I think it's a sign of success. But I never got that it was because they actually wanted to be around me. Because I'm so logical, I couldn't imagine that they would hurt me when they actually want to be around me. But then I thought about it. What else could it be? Why wouldn't they just leave me alone? If they really cared about what I was saying in my show, they would actually see the show and have an intelligent conversation with me. And, and, and if they really wanted to fight me, I was in Boston for 3 weeks. It was publicized where I would be each day and at what time.
So you see, the only logical conclusion I can come to is just like in the movie The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy finally got to him, after walking that yellow brick road through all the dark spots, after she killed the Wicked Witch through an act of kindness, did she get her courage, brain and heart. She finally realized that she was a person who had it in her the whole time. The Wizard was was just a little man behind a big curtain. That's what fear is: a thousand foot paper curtain.
You want to connect, do it through my heart. If you want to spread your fear (which is not real, only love is real) by looking for a fight just to discharge some of your own ugly feelings, I'm not available.
Seriously, it's really simple, but so hard to do. I just go to the people who love me.
I can't stop others from fighting but I can stop being a vessel for them so maybe they can feel their own feelings and maybe, just maybe, see that fighting is not the only way. It adds to the peace on earth for everybody.