If I give youÂ something I give it to you from my heart, therefore you should cherish it with you heart. It is better for everyone involved. If you use it for your own gain it may sadden me, but you lose in the long runÂ becauseÂ what I have to offer is something very special. Â I have always been someone who cared about people and wanted them to feel good but when i was younger I gave into my ownÂ insecurities. People would shame meÂ becauseÂ of my love and I wasn't strong enough to stand up to it with grace, so hid it and became what others wanted me to so they could feel better about themselves. I would go very fast in everything I did, never stopping to look at things and never feeling worthy to care for myself. I whole heartedly believe that going fast with anything is just a manifestation of self hatred. I am amazed lately as my career is taking off again, at what happens to people when it comes to fame. There have been 3 instances lately where I genuinelyÂ shared a personal moment with them and they took it and immediately thought, how Â can i use this for myself? How can i get myself attention with this. They don't get it, they block their own love wehn they act like that. They actually push away the exact thing that they are trying to attract.
When my career took off earlier in life i didn't see any of this because it all happened so fast. Now the process is slower and it's really hard to see this about people, but it's the only way I can protect myself. Early on I would shut down and not give to people anymore, but I'm the one who suffered from that. I used to think if you can't beat em you might as well join em, but then I was trapped by it all. Â It makes me feel free to be open. Â IÂ thoughtÂ shutting down was protection, Â but it wasn't. Â I wasn't seeing people for who they really are. By being honest and genuine and generous with these people they are showing me who they really are. It's like a huge spotlight shining on them and it'sÂ comingÂ directly from my heart.