when i get scared I try to control things and of course because I can't that makes me get aggressive. And then I push away any joy or love I was after to begin with. They say a control freak can completely control themselves out of a life. I know for me when I try ti control things I feel miserable and I look miserable, but when i let go and surrender into my humanity and open my heart, life happens beautifully. I a much more beautiful way than i could have ever imagined. This doesn't mean people do what i want it means I do what I want. Which means to just get the hell out of the way of everything. I exert myself then i let go. I feel it all good, bad an indifferent. The more i feel the less fear runs my life. I used to spend my whole life trying to avoid feelings. I'm sure everyone can understand the romantic feelings. I was thinking this morning how much my desperate needy feelings come up during this time. I used to be aggressive to over compensate and in turn, pushed people away. Or I would do the opposite, completely avoid those feelings altogether. Now I can sit still witness them know that they are old feelings and have nothing to do with how lovable I really am. Then I can show up lovable and attract that which I used to repel. Plus the more you get hurt the less it hurts:)