I read this passage from the Greek playwright Aeschylus last night before falling asleep. "He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God." It made me think about how much more I used to sleep. I LOVED my bed for years and I took a nap every day. I used to think of it as an escape from my feelings, but it wasn't an escape, it was just a brief relief, but really it wasn't relief because I wasn't living my life to the fullest, I was sleeping.  I think of the way I used to treat my bed as like a coffin or a womb. I can't really tell you which, but they are the same for me when it comes to being a grown woman. A grown woman in a womb might as well be a grave.  And like the quote above says, we are never relived of our pain, our pain is the touch tone for growth but we have to go through it. Because the more we avoid it, the worse it gets. It affects out sleep, our bodies, our heath.  If you look at not dealing with your pain as a form of immaturity, remaining a baby in the womb,  its like you are suffocating yourself. And if you look at it like a grave it's the same. That little box might feel safe but it's just an illusion. Its danger disguised as safety, you're killing the wrong person. Kill the ego, kill the false self so the authentic self can emerge. Yes it takes a while and a little blind faith. But most importantly you have to feel as though you are worth it.YOU ARE WORTH IT! Just because you are born, it's your God given right. No matter how bad you feel about yourself there is someone out there who feels worse.When you give birth you have to push and if you were buried alive wouldn't you dig ferociously to get yourself out. And once you were out and you saw someone else buried alive wouldn't you show them the way?  When they asked Michelangelo how he came up with the sculpture of David he said he didn't, he just chipped away at the marble and David was already inside. He also said that the piece of marble that he used had been discarded because it had a chip in it.   The only way out is through.   Everything we do in life has a circle. The circle of creation and destruction. Day turns into night and then day again. Breathe comes in and goes out. We take our first breath when we  are born and we release our last breathe when we die. I have hope that as long as the breath is going in and out, that the creation destruction can happen at any second you just have to believe that you are worth it!