When I was a kid, I was pretty fearless. I had an innate sense of what was right and wrong. I was never afraid to stick up for what I believed and I loved the underdog. When I was Â teenager, I was at a mall with my Mum and I had my money out. She said "sue put your money away, someone might take it." I was like "Mum, no won't." Â I thought, how in the world can she even think that? It was just a strength a solidness that I had. Later, my sister told me that she told my Mum that no one was going to take my money,Â because she had studied premature babies in school and it said that they are stronger than most. And my Mum's response was "Don't tell Sue that."
That experience didn't take away my strength because no one and nothing can take away what God gave you, but it made me bury it a little. I internalized my strength as something to be a shamed of.Â Â Something that might make my mother unhappy.
As an adult,Â I found people who didn't want me to have my light. People who were afraid of the light in themselves,I found people to hide behind, I tried to squelch who I was andÂ it made me miserable.
I wanted to take care of you so you could take care of me. I would settle for a dead body sometimes,Â just so I didn't have to be alone. I somehow wanted others to feel better and have a good life and see their light, but I was really using them to hide my own andÂ the most important underdog "me" got put on the back burner
Finally, I decided, that if I wanted people to see my light I had to be courageous and step out of the dark, even if that meant I had to feel a little lonely.
Well, all I can say right now, is yesterday I became my own underdog, I took a risk that gave a reward beyond my comprehension. I can't talk about it yet, but when I can I will let you know.
For now, know that if you are faced with a situation where you could either take the path of least resistance or the road less traveled; I implore you, go to the road that seems the darkest,Â because your courage will radiate from inside you and illuminateÂ it. Â It's okay to be scared, you can trust me, because I've gone before you, the darker the dark, the lighter the light.