that the dark never wins...... But, I am amazed at how strong the pull to the dark can be, in the moment it seems easier and quicker; even less painful, Â but in the long run, it turns on you, blinds you, then fills you with fear. This week I had a lot, I mean a lot of dark energy coming my way. The only way I can describe it is that it feels like it takes over and I'm not myself anymore.
When it's coming straight at me It feels so strong, like nothing Â I could do could stand up to it. But I breathe and I pause and I check my gut and most of the time if Â I sit still when i am the most afraid I find my way out of the darkness.
The answers just come to me. The problem is that it's terrifying to sit still when the fear is the greatest but that is when it is most important. I think about what they tell Â you if you ever find yourself drowning becuause the current i s pulling you, they say don't fight it go with it. Or how when drunks fall or get into accidents alot of times they have less injurys becuase their body's are loose.
Be still and know that I am just came into my head as I am writing this.
I'm in Los Angeles for work and I cannot believe how different I feel now than I did back a few years ago.
I have no "people"" I challenge myself to show up and be myself and take risks and find my way out of the hole.
I used to feel like I could collapse when I was faced with a situation that scared me. Â Or, I would get someone "my people" to do it for me. Thus only putting a band aid on the fear.
Now I walkÂ through it, I sit still, I pray, i ask for help and Â I figure it out and the personal growth that I get from it is far more rewarding than any outside accolade i could get
It's like a wound that gets brought to the surface and heals in the air.