That's the way I would describe how I like my art and my life. Well, maybe "controlled spontaneity" is more like it. I love to fly by the seat of my pants, but I realize that seat belts were invented for a reason. They do not restrict you while you’re driving, nor do they control the speed at which you choose to drive, but they do  protect you in case of emergency.

Boundaries are the seat belt of life. If you figure out where you end and another person begins, there can be room for everyone. That is easier said than done, especially when love is involved.

The key to it all is that boundaries are the greatest form of love and really the only way that the purest form of love can exist. Control is not love, it's aggression.

Think about a kid who is acting up. When you tell them to stop it, they may hem and haw, but inside they feel loved. They feel like you care about them and they feel like you see them.

Lots of grown ups have not officially grown up, so in reality this theory works with them too. The problem with this is someone has to be the grown up. In a world where lots of us do not feel like we got enough, it's hard to wrap our brain around.

The good news is that when you create boundaries, you are helping everyone involved. Most people don't feel worthy to set them, so when you do, they are thrilled. They think, Thank you for doing that because I can't stop myself. When you do it for a kid, you are ensuring that that kid will grow up with a little more respect for themselves and others. When you do it for an adult, you are helping the wounded kid inside of them by demanding more of them and I believe with all my heart that people will rise to the occasion.

Sometimes it's not the first boundary, but the second, or the third that finally sticks, but it will stick. Love is messy, but it can be pure. You have to exert yourself when you love. You need to put yourself out there. You need to be responsible. Baby steps and eventually you will have more to give than get :) The one with the power is the responsible one, and if you're reading this right now you have just become responsible.

Make them connect with your heart instead of your bowels because really, wouldn't you rather live in love than shit?

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