So, yesterday, I go to try and see this show, I thought it started at 6 so my friend and I show up and there is a guy sitting on the steps. I ask him why he’s there and had the show not started yet. He said, Â ”no not til 7.” Â So we start talking and he’s keeps asking meÂ whatÂ my profession is.Â FinallyÂ he asks, “are youÂ HollywoodÂ cause you lookÂ Hollywood?” Â He keeps talking and as he’s telling me all about his life i’m thinking man this guy is so interesting, look at his face you can see his whole life in the wrinkles and his eyes are have so much pain in them. ” I felt like he just wanted someone to listen so i did.
My friend wasn’t as interested I was and I Â could feel her shifting as he kept talking. Â After a little while I felt like something was weird. I asked” wouldn’t someone be here to set up by now?” He said “oh yeah” as my friendÂ noticedÂ people walking in another door. Â He said “thanks forÂ listeningÂ to me, you’re very calm and I don’t get that a lot. ”
As we walkedÂ towardsÂ the other door my friend and I realized that the show had been going on and he had tricked us.
He came walking in behind me and I asked “did you trick me?” He said” no no but thank you for listening to me, you made my whole day.”
We laughed and I knew he had just worked me. But you know what? I didn’t care. I said to my friend “no one ever listens to that guy, otherwise why would he have to lie and manipulate? I said” call me crazy, but that’ s who I am I’d rather lend an ear to that guy and give him some comfort even if he is trying to work me.”
I win in the end anyway.
but we are terrified of it. Last night, I was talking to thisÂ toughÂ guy from the boogie down Bronx. Â He was talking about how he wanted to find love, butÂ couldn’t, so I shared with him how I’ve been humbled by my life and how it is that humility that lets the shine comes out so that people areÂ attractedÂ to us. How through accepting my ownÂ humanityÂ I was able to see myself and in turn see others. He Â said I want to skip over all theÂ hardÂ parts andÂ justÂ haveÂ it. And I told him that it wasÂ theÂ hardÂ parts that made me soft and going to fast will ensure failureÂ becauseÂ it’s a form of self hatred. Â I told him that I never made it happen, that it happened to me. That I had no control over it, the only thing I did have control over was that i neverÂ quitÂ and instead of all these things breaking my heart, I let them break my heart open. That now I love how soft I am and in turn it allows others to soften so everybody wins. Â His face lit up, he said “sue if what you are saying is true then I can do it, you gave me hope and I”m proud to know you.” Â All I did was share my ownÂ humanityÂ with him and he chose in that moment to let it happen to him and he softened, lit up ,and let the love in. And then he made me feel like a million bucks by telling me that he was proud to know me, such a simple thing, yet it made me feel so good.
Only love is real, fear is an illusion that we create toÂ deflectÂ the perfection that is ourÂ fallibleÂ humanity. It is up to us to do the growing, no one can do it for us, but it’s notÂ untilÂ we put it into action and share it with others, that we see ourselves reflected back.