Archive for June, 2010

I win!!!

So, yesterday, I go to try and see this show, I thought it started at 6 so my friend and I show up and there is a guy sitting on the steps. I ask him why he’s there and had the show not started yet. He said,  ”no not til 7.”  So we start talking and he’s keeps asking me what my profession is. Finally he asks, “are you Hollywood cause you look Hollywood?”  He keeps talking and as he’s telling me all about his life i’m thinking man this guy is so interesting, look at his face you can see his whole life in the wrinkles and his eyes are have so much pain in them. ” I felt like he just wanted someone to listen so i did.

My friend wasn’t as interested I was and I  could feel her shifting as he kept talking.  After a little while I felt like something was weird. I asked” wouldn’t someone be here to set up by now?” He said “oh yeah” as my friend noticed people walking in another door.  He said “thanks for listening to me, you’re very calm and I don’t get that a lot. ”

As we walked towards the other door my friend and I realized that the show had been going on and he had tricked us.

He came walking in behind me and I asked “did you trick me?” He said” no no but thank you for listening to me, you made my whole day.”

We laughed and I knew he had just worked me. But you know what? I didn’t care. I said to my friend “no one ever listens to that guy, otherwise why would he have to lie and manipulate? I said” call me crazy, but that’ s who I am I’d rather lend an ear to that guy and give him some comfort even if he is trying to work me.”

I win in the end anyway.

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love is what we need………

but we are terrified of it. Last night, I was talking to this tough guy from the boogie down Bronx.  He was talking about how he wanted to find love, but couldn’t, so I shared with him how I’ve been humbled by my life and how it is that humility that lets the shine comes out so that people are attracted to us. How through accepting my own humanity I was able to see myself and in turn see others. He  said I want to skip over all the hard parts and just have it. And I told him that it was the hard parts that made me soft and going to fast will ensure failure because it’s a form of self hatred.  I told him that I never made it happen, that it happened to me. That I had no control over it, the only thing I did have control over was that i never quit and instead of all these things breaking my heart, I let them break my heart open. That now I love how soft I am and in turn it allows others to soften so everybody wins.  His face lit up, he said “sue if what you are saying is true then I can do it, you gave me hope and I”m proud to know you.”  All I did was share my own humanity with him and he chose in that moment to let it happen to him and he softened, lit up ,and let the love in. And then he made me feel like a million bucks by telling me that he was proud to know me, such a simple thing, yet it made me feel so good.

Only love is real, fear is an illusion that we create to deflect the perfection that is our fallible humanity. It is up to us to do the growing, no one can do it for us, but it’s not until we put it into action and share it with others, that we see ourselves reflected back.

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