First of all,  sorry about the typos and punctuation problems in the other posts. I haven't figured out how to go back in edit them once they are posted. I'll work on that. I want you to know that I respect you and cherish the fact that you take time to read my words. See that was easy, I just looked at my posts, realized that there were typos and apologized.  In reality, it has taken tremendous pains to be able t be that direct.  I was out with my friend last night and she was talking about how jealous she gets when people don't acknowledge her and how painful it is for her. I so identified, I told her it was like being prodded like a bull, with that little shock thing they have. She's fixing it, she is at a point in her career where she is sharing some personal stuff about herself and it's helping her become successful. I told her for so long I would say "WHY AM I NOT GETTING MY PROPS?" until one day it hit me, I wasn't asking for them. It was as if I was hiding in public. I wanted the world to just know what I needed so that I didn't have to risk putting myself out there. I wanted everyone to see me without revealing an ounce of myself.  It wasn't until I started to learn how to communicate what was really inside me that Igot what i needed.  I remember a therapist asking me if there was any way that I could just say to someone when they weren't treating me right, "That's not nice." And it was as if she was speaking Chinese. I had no impulse control and  I was so super sensitive that I couldn't muster up the words. I wanted the world to adjust and  not do anything to make me uncomfortable. Obviously that's no way to live, so like I do with every challenge in my life I tried it. I was working in Atlantic City with this comic that I hadn't seen in a long time and we took a private yoga session. After the session, we went out to breakfast with the instructor. The waitress was such a bitch and all I said was "be nice" and she heard me. She treated me with respect for the rest of the meal. The comic went crazy, she was liked sue what happened, you're so different, it's like your healed it's like nothing gets to you. The yoga instructor responded with, "nothing gets to her, because there is no one left to get."  I always thought that if I communicated that to another person they would leave, but the opposite happens, because  if you tell someone that they are not treating you the way you need to be treated it means you care, that you see them as a person, that they exist.

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