Doozie from the Kadoozie part 2

Oops sorry, the holidays took me away. So where was I? Right. Precious, he and his Dad met me in West Hollywood so that I could take him to the Getty. When I walked up to them, Precious was not having any of it. He did not want to go, he just wanted to go home. Boy was he grumpy. I finally figured out that it was because of the mid-week switch from his Mom's to his Dad's that was making him so uncomfortable.

I thought to myself, that must be so hard for him and upped my patience level with Precious. I convinced him to go with me for a half hour, told him if he didn't like it we would leave, and off we went.

We get off the 405 at the right place, but we take a wrong turn. Precious starts to freak out because he sees all the traffic we are going to have to sit in on the way back. I am not the best driver, so internally his freak out was making me freak out. I pushed through though, and told him to respect me. He did, and it didn't take us long at all to find the Getty and next thing you know we are on the tram above the Hills and the view was spectacular, but no where near as spectacular as the view once we reached the top.

I forgot to mention that I had busted Precious in a few small fibs earlier in the week, which I'm sure all 12-year-old boys do, but it broke my heart because this kid is so cool already that he doesn't have to make anything up.

Anyway, the first piece of art that we see is a photograph of a sentence from a book that said "he lied so much he began to believe his own narrative." Precious read it and asked me what narrative meant. I told him and he got it. We both felt it, like some next level shit, art imitating life and speaking to us because we had the patience and the strength to push through.

Next we look at the old oil paintings. We talk about how amazing it is that they haven't cracked and he says something (I can't remember what) that prompts me to tell him that he is very literal. He asks me what that means and I tell him. Later on he calls back to it and says, "Sue I was just being literal."

As we move through the museum we see a yellow piece of wood leaning against a wall and he says, "C'mon Sue I could do this." I say, "Of course you could."

When we’re done, we stop to get a snack at an outside stand. Precious tells me that he wants a tuna sandwich. I say, "Don't get the tuna it's gonna be gross, it's been sitting out all day, get the burrito, it will be better." He says to the woman behind the counter "I'll have the tuna sandwich." When she puts it on the counter, he looks at it and says, "Can I have the burrito instead?"

When we finish we clean up after ourselves and go home. On the drive home I ask Precious if he saw that he didn't need to be so nervous when everything wasn't perfect. I say that's part of maturing, when you have really uncomfortable feelings and you don't take them out on others, you push through them and get the rewards.

He looked at me nods and asks, "Then I can be successful?" and I respond, "Literally."

Oh Boy, and this one is a Doozie from the Kadoozie

Hi there everyone! So, I re-vamped the site and it took me a minute to figure out all the passwords. But hopefully I'm all squared away to let my thoughts flow. Chin up, Heart open :)

I was in LA for a bunch of weeks over the past couple of months and I met some big Hollywood people, went to some fancy dinners and got lots of accolades, but the thing that sticks most is my exchange with my friend’s 12-year-old son.

We will call him "Precious" because that's the nickname I gave him. Precious read me four of his creative writing stories and one of them started with a kid who had a Mom and a Dad who lived in the same house, and he wrote "which was very unusual now a days." Precious has a Mom and Dad that love him very much, but they never married and don't live together.

After he read me his stories, we had a private yoga lesson, and then I asked Precious to take me to Culver City because I had not seen it since they did it over. As soon as we started walking, he saw an art gallery and said, "Sue let's go in here, it's the only cool place around."

While in the art gallery, I asked him if he wanted me to take him to a museum while I was in LA. He said, "Yes the Getty." The next day we went to the Getty and if you want to read the rest you'll have to come back tomorrow...

Here's a little tease: The fact that I can say that I was in Los Angeles and wasn't so consumed with fear, that I actually saw another human being and may have even helped, is a miracle in and of itself.

Top ten things that happen when I give my power away

1. I lose trust in those who are there to help

2. My self esteem and belief in myself are diminished

3. I lose time for myself and others

4. I lose faith in my instincts

5. Money is lost

6. My energy is depleted

7. I lose hope in my future

8. My concentration is severely diminished

9. I lose my ability to allow nurturing foods into my body

10. My voice falls silent.

Leap of faith

Last summer I was on my friends gorgeous sail boat. It was 90 degrees out and we stopped to swim. Immediately I went downstairs to put my bathing suit on and as I was changing, I heard the others talking about whether it would be cold or not, or if there were sharks in the water.

As I listened to them talk something came over me, an urge. There are lots of times in life that we are supposed to suppress our urges because they are socially unacceptable. But there are also lots of times that we suppress urges that would cause us to be free and experience pure, unadulterated fun.

This was one of those times. I had the urge to run up the stairs and jump off the side of the boat without stopping so I did it — cold and sharky water and all.

The second I hit the water everyone on the boat leaped in after me. Some even still had their clothes on.

Later, one of the guys on the boat pulled me aside and said that it was one of the most spiritual things he'd ever experienced.

Simple as that: I jumped, they followed, we all had fun.

Spirituality — try it.

Suzy Kadoozie talks about the importance of being quiet

Here's the thing about self esteem…

It helps you shine the light on what's really goin on. When I was little, my Mum dressed me like a boy. I always wanted to be sexy but because of this I had really bad identity problems.

I always thought I was ugly.

That, coupled with trying to be a supah dupah good girl, made for a exhaustive navigation through reality.

I had friends steal my boyfriends all the time. They would say, "Sue, guys check you out all the time and you don't even notice" and I thought that was good because it meant that I wasn't vain.

Well it instead made me lose all the opportunities for a guy because they would go after them and get them.

I said this on WTF with Marc Maron and I'll say it again.

One of the most profound experiences that I ever had in therapy was when I was telling a story about a cute guy at the gym who was hanging all over me.

As I was tellin it, I mentioned that the girl behind the desk was all over him.

I made it sound like I didn't care because I thought I didn't.

Well all my therapist did was shift in her chair and say, "Well, someone's got to get the last piece of cake" and I felt a rage from the tip of my toes to the top of my head.

I was like "I WANT THE LAST PEICE OF CAKE!"

I had never tapped into my desire before, let alone my sexual desire but boy when I did!

Since then, I have learned how to have desire and to express it.

I can happily report that I finally feel really, really sexy.

That being said, I am realizing how many guys have thought that throughout my life it has to do with my looks, but so much more.

It's my generosity, my fun, my love, my sense of humor, my body, my brains, my strength, etc.

So here's where this all comes into play.

I was dating a guy, who to the naked eye, appeared to be a sexual human being.

But when I sent him sexy pics, he would ignore them.

It was OK because I thought maybe he's just not into that, but my second thought was, but every other guy I've ever sent a sexy pic to said "more" right away.

It's funny as I type this I wonder if those thoughts were reversed.

First, I probably thought, that's weird, then I justified it by defending him.

Then there was another time where we we totally acting out a sexy scene: he was shaving his beard while I watched. (That's all I'll say about that for the sake of privacy.)

Well we got into bed and.................................he fell asleep.

My first thought was, oh he must be tired, then my second thought was, I've never been in bed with a guy who could not keep his hands off me." And my third thought was, this is the beginning of this relationship so this can't be good.

Again, the thoughts were probably switched. My first thought was probably, what's wrong with this guy? Usually guys can't keep their hands off of me. Then the second thought was to justify it, under the guise of bein a supah dupah good girl.

I write this not to toot my own horn. I write this to show that if my self-esteem was lower I would have spent the rest of the relationship trying to prove that I was desirable, blaming myself for whatever his block was, and squelching my own desires to make him feel comfortable, which in turn would squelch us both.

Sex is life.

I did try to talk about it to no avail, cause that 's what right sized, regular, good girls do.

I wanted a sexual relationship, and he wasn't willing to talk about it, so I was able to make the decision to end the relationship.

"It's you, it's not me" is what I said when I ended it.

Me on WTF with Marc Maron !!!!

Marc puts aside his fear of Boston Natives to welcome the thickly accented and very funny Sue Costello to the garage. Sue talks about how the bottom dropped out on her rising comedy career and how an unlikely role in The Fighter prepped her for a comeback.

Meditation is the pause, the pause is the action and the action is spirituality

Be still and I know that I am. Even a star needs to pull in on itself in order to pulsate out. Sometimes one of the hardest actions in the world is to do nothing.

Silence.

It takes every muscle in my body.

When provoked and rightly so, the first instinct it to retaliate.

But in the long run, I’m the one who suffers.

Serena Williams attacked the judge at the US Open this weekend.

She flew off the handle.

She was mad, she thought the judge was being hard on her because she was black.

That was her past, being projected into the present, to create an unhappy future.

She was so emotional that she based what was goin on on something old in her nervous system.

An old wound.

You see the judge made the legal call.

But Serena was so emotional that she couldn't even stop herself to think for a second.

She reacted from her wound.

She knows the rules. She knows that any distraction during a time like this can be fatal.

Yet, even if she knew it, even if she cared, her lack of impulse control, her need to protect that wound, made her lose that match.

It's a fact.

Not only that, but she tried to bully that judge, to scare her.

But what do we know about bullies?

They are dumb. Not the person, but the bully behavior makes the person act like a dummy.

They are scared, so they scare others. But if the other person has more internal fortitude, if they have healed their wound and they don't feed into the bully, the bully crumbles in on themselves.

If the bully has nothing to push up against, they have to implode.

Fact.

Meditation is not just some weird thing that only wicked spiritual people do. It's a practice that you can take and apply to your everyday human life.

It actually helps you win, because most people have impulse control problems. They have wounds.

So, if you are the one who can remain still while others around you are acting out, you win in the long run.

Internal fortitude means guts; guts to care enough about yourself to protect yourself from a bully, which in the long run protects the bully because they have to suffer the consequences of their own behavior.

You can sit and listen and react to what is REALLY going on. You can stand up with your guts and sometime standing up means sitting down.

This is how the wound heals.

Fact.

The way to do this is to clean out all the things about you're personality that you don't think are part of who you are authentically.

Things, behaviors that you have developed to survive.

I have a secret: those things you developed to help you survive are turning on you and ruining your life.

Find your guts.

The ugly is not you. It's the wound you've created, the puss needs to get to the air to heal.

Once it heals, only the real you is left. Your guts — which is God, which has been in you all along.

The compass that will help you navigate a better life.

And that is when the miracle happens. You are actually listening, not projecting your past into your present to make an awful future.

Slow down. It might hurt at first to not say everything that's on your mind, but once you practice, you might even enjoy only sayin the things that actually mean something to you.

Then the words you say or don't say will match up with the authentic you to create a future different from your past.

And maybe, just maybe, others will slow down too because usually when you set a boundary with someone who has no impulse control they are so grateful because they can't do it for themselves.

Most people don't care enough about themselves to say something.

That is how you stand up to a bully and then the wound of the world begins to heal as well.