I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack:)

Wow what a beautiful weekend!!!! I can't believe how much fun you can have if you just say yes! The beach was beautiful! And, Sunday my friends and I were invited to go on this guys speed boat. I was terrified!! I really wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I kept thinking is this my gut telling me something or am i just being a tight ass? I thought, if I go against my gut and I'm terrified the whole time, I'll be pissed. But if I don't go and everyone has fun, I'll be pissed. So, I loosened my ass cheeks and hopped aboard. And guess what? It was a BLAST!!! We went flying across the water and watched the sunset listening to cheesy disco music. When we were done I felt so invigorated. I went back to the house and put on my boots and my short shorts and went for coffee. As I was pouring my cream into my coffee I hear A whistle, whoo hoo. I don't turn around but I kinda know the guy is whistling at me. It's not til he does it again that I turn and it' s this actor from the show Rescue me.  I give him a hug and he grunts. We say good bye  and all I can think is, wow walking through your fears does a body good.  Loosen those ass cheeks and it will show. So. for all of you out there afraid to have fun, do it!!! NOW!!!! That energy is contagious and it will make others happy as well.

beach for the weekend........

Be back Monday!! Happy Memorial Day!!!

keep the fights clean and the sex dirty....

I promise I will tell the Murphy Brown story, but first, I have to blog about my night, because my friend asked me to. So, last night I went to my V's restaurant to hang out. It was a gorgeous night in the meat packing district. We sat at a table that was half inside half outside. As we looked out at all the people walking I was surprised by a view of this stunning guy. He was a new waiter at the restaurant I was almost embarrassed by the energy I sent hiand he sent me.  It wasn't planned, it just happened.  I said "V where did he come from?" She was like "isn't he hot? he's an ex boxer." Nuff said, he and I started talking about boxing and I told him I boxed for two years, which he found very funny since I'm so tiny. I showed him my favorite move and he said "no, its done like this."  I mean it was like art. I'm fascinated with boxing. The way they can make a small move and be so powerful. I love it, it's actually the way life should be led. Minimum effort with maximum results. Then, it was time to leave:( we said our good byes and went to meet V's boyfriend and his friends at the Soho House, which is a private club where you have to be a member to enter. As we were sitting on the roof, by the pool, overlooking New York City with all the fabulous people, V told her boyfriend how I was boxing with the waiter. He thought it was so funny and at one point I asked "why?' and gave a gang symbol. He was like "Sue that was so real I almost believed you."  I said "yeah, that's cause I'm from the streets." He said "oh yeah right." And V was like "she is." He asked, "where?" I said," Dorchester."  He responded "oh yeah you are, I never would have thought that." I said "I know people ask me if I was the prom queen in high school and I'm like Prom Queen? I'm lucky I still have my teeth."  I told him how last week I was given the opportunity to go back to my tough roots and how much fun it was. I said it almost bordered on sexual for me."  Then it hit me, there is a fine line between f*ckIng and fighting. With both, it doesn't matter how smal you arel... as long as you're powerful.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Now I'm really starting to freak out!!! I'm not one to blog twice a day, but I just got home and I had to!! OK so I say earlier that I'm kinda manifesting stuff starting with dog and ego. Well, the other story I was supposed to tell you guys was the one where I farted on Pat Finn which, I will tell, tomorrow. But for now, I farted on him the day I got kicked off Murphy Brown. I was supposed to be on the show for 13 episodes and I never even made it to the first taping because Candace threw me off and really screwed me because I had turned down another show to do MurphyBrown. So, tonight, my friend and I are walking down Madison avenue after a total New York City night, ending with tea and a cupcake at Crumbs while Sinatra's "My Way" played on the cd, and we walk by a couple having dinner outside. I don't notice the couple, I only notice the dog. I really never thought I was a dog person, but I guess I kinda am, cause I LOVE DOOTLE DOGS!!! The couple had one tied to their chair so I say "is that a doodle dog and can I pet it?" and the woman says "sure" all friendly. and all of a sudden, it hits me it's Candance Bergen. And I say "Oh Candace! Hi it's me Sue Costello" and she says, "Oh hi Sue and buries her face in her napkin. My friend and I can barely contain ourselves and we try to hold in our laughter. There really is a God. Here I was being all cute and nice to her dog and she has to just feel it, feel how she treated me. I didn't have to say a word. All I had to do was be my snuggle bunny self.  That's how it seems to work for me these days. People can try to be as mean as they like to me but as long as  I don't stoop to it in the moment , sometime in the future God will give me the perfect opportunity to let them feel it all on their own:)

I'm not THAT famous

I am telling you this yoga this is really something . I literally write about two things in the past couple of days. 1. my ego and 2 a dog. Well last night I am standing with Elle McPherson and Matt Dillon and this woman comes up with this look of recognition on her face and comes straight towards me! She's like I saw you on TV!!!!! So ego, puff puff............and then today, I go to mail something and there are two huge dogs tied to a pole beside the mailbox. I slowly approach, smile tell them that they are cute and mail my mail. I walk about 3 city blocks (which is far) and a woman grabs my arm frantically screaming "excuse me ! excuse me!" and I automatically think "not another fan" I stop and turn and the woman is like "Are those your dogs? Did you just leave them there tied to the pole like that because if you did I can't take it, I'm going to go back and save them!" I was like "UMMMMM no mam (koo koo) I was just smiling at them and making nice so they wouldn't rape me while I mailing my letter. Her whole face dropped and she ran. You show me koo koo and I'll match you and top you a crazy town.

the love of my life......

Ok it was dog and it was ten years ago lolololol. I shot my first T.V. pilot and there was scene where I went back to see my old high school nun, who had a dog. The joke was, that the dog was pervert and always sniffed my crotch. In order to get the dog to sniff my crotch the "handlers" had to rub hot dogs on my crotch the whole week during rehearsal.  I know, I know I have more self esteem now lol. Anyway, we had rehearsed for two days and on the third day I walked onto the set to a feeling that can only be described as if someone had died. The handler pulled me aside and said that I could not go near the dog until tape night, which was Friday, because he had fallen in love with me. Of course he did ,I am kinda cute. So, Friday night the dog not only sniffs my crotch but tries to violently rape me. I have to literally throw him off me. When I finally made it backstage the dog was waiting for me and he mounted me like party train. I couldn't help it ,I had to show the audience. They went wild, as I stood there with the dog's paws wrapped around my belly thinking J Lo gets a Bentley and I get f*cked in the ass by a basset hound.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean..

First of all,  sorry about the typos and punctuation problems in the other posts. I haven't figured out how to go back in edit them once they are posted. I'll work on that. I want you to know that I respect you and cherish the fact that you take time to read my words. See that was easy, I just looked at my posts, realized that there were typos and apologized.  In reality, it has taken tremendous pains to be able t be that direct.  I was out with my friend last night and she was talking about how jealous she gets when people don't acknowledge her and how painful it is for her. I so identified, I told her it was like being prodded like a bull, with that little shock thing they have. She's fixing it, she is at a point in her career where she is sharing some personal stuff about herself and it's helping her become successful. I told her for so long I would say "WHY AM I NOT GETTING MY PROPS?" until one day it hit me, I wasn't asking for them. It was as if I was hiding in public. I wanted the world to just know what I needed so that I didn't have to risk putting myself out there. I wanted everyone to see me without revealing an ounce of myself.  It wasn't until I started to learn how to communicate what was really inside me that Igot what i needed.  I remember a therapist asking me if there was any way that I could just say to someone when they weren't treating me right, "That's not nice." And it was as if she was speaking Chinese. I had no impulse control and  I was so super sensitive that I couldn't muster up the words. I wanted the world to adjust and  not do anything to make me uncomfortable. Obviously that's no way to live, so like I do with every challenge in my life I tried it. I was working in Atlantic City with this comic that I hadn't seen in a long time and we took a private yoga session. After the session, we went out to breakfast with the instructor. The waitress was such a bitch and all I said was "be nice" and she heard me. She treated me with respect for the rest of the meal. The comic went crazy, she was liked sue what happened, you're so different, it's like your healed it's like nothing gets to you. The yoga instructor responded with, "nothing gets to her, because there is no one left to get."  I always thought that if I communicated that to another person they would leave, but the opposite happens, because  if you tell someone that they are not treating you the way you need to be treated it means you care, that you see them as a person, that they exist.

Avoid the quick sharp pain.......

That was the lesson for today in yoga. If you feel a sharp burning pain that means trouble and you should stop right away. But, if it's a slow dull pain you should work through it. As I was doing my warrior one I thought aint that the truth. The reason I go to yoga everyday is so that i can keep my body, which is the house to my soul, strong, open so that I am able to receive.   I love it, I love the fact that I can get in touch with what I am feeling through my body. Most of my life was spent projecting the crazytown from my head and my past into my future and never experiencing the present.  I used to do everything really fast because, I thought, if I didn't go fast it would all go away. But the truth is going fast is a form of self hatred which actually makes everything go away.  If you go slow you can hold on to yourself.  You can nurture things and see things and feel them; you can literally fly. I went surfing for the first time last summer and I did not like the little belt that you have to tie around your ankle. It made me feel trapped but I wore it. When I rode the first wave I was more exhilarated than I had ever been in my life and then of course, the wave crashed and my bikini filled with sand and I got water up my nose. But, my board was right by me, because it was attached to the belt around my leg, and because of that belt my board didn't hit me in the head and kill me. That was the only time I tried to surf that day. I wanted to walk around with that feeling of exhilaration all day and I did, I was so proud of myself that I had the courage to let go and not have to be the best surfer in the world which definitely could have ended up in a quick sharp pain.  The sand up my nose was just a slow dull pain so I plan to do it again this summer.